iPhone users with crappy bands will rejoice today, as the recently released GarageBand 4.1.1 update adds easy ringtone exporting. Users have full access to Apple Loops and iLife jingles—as well as their own recordings—to export tracks. Here's the full procedure:
1. Start a crappy band.
2. Meet twice a week to argue whether you are going for a sound reminiscent of the Beatles pre or post Sgt. Pepper.
3. Lose your lead singer who is starting a solo career.
4. Say "fuck vocals, it's all about jamming anyway."
5. Hire a random Hooters waitress for the part in a moment of weakness when you'd had too many to drink and wondered why you were starting a band at age 37.
6. Regret signing tone-deaf Hooters waitress.
7. Fire waitress.
8. Get hummer in back seat.
9. Realize that waitress isn't such a bad singer after all.
10. Record your song in Garageband.
11. Set up a cycle region that covers the area you wish to use in the GarageBand song.
12. Once the cycle area has been set, choose Share > Send Ringtone to iTunes.
13. Find out that the drummer's been "hitting that shit, too."
14. Refuse to pay for the baby—there's no proof it's yours.
15. It's totally yours.
16. Break up with band/waitress.
17. Move to Alaska.
18. Get a call from a special someone you hadn't thought about in some time...a ringer you hadn't heard in ages.
19. Decide to get the band, and relationship, back together.
20. Find out the drummer is "still hitting that shit."
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